I have been a little quiet on here the past couple of days, so I thought I would give you an update. There’s no point in lying or dancing around it, otherwise what is the point in this blog, right?
So, I was 100% on plan all week since my weigh in last Wednesday, I even managed to struggle through a really tough weekend without cheating at all! But then by Monday evening I just felt so low, I was feeling really weak and tired and looking back now I don’t think my calorie intake was as high as it should have been considering my exercise over the weekend and my long days at work during the week. So I have been off plan since Monday night. I haven’t been over-indulging on chocolate or takeaways, I have been having porridge, yoghurt, fruit, salad and my mums homecooked vegetable stew.
I have been feeling so guilty and really upset that I have ‘failed’ on my diet. Every time I am faced with a decision of what to put in my mouth I am riddled with fear that I am going to put back on the 40 pounds that I have worked so hard to loose. When I first set out to loose weight, I knew it would be difficult, but I don’t think I realised how emotionally difficult the whole process would be. I thought that just getting the weight to come off would be the difficult bit, I didn’t realise I would have to deal with a paralysing fear of weight gain on a daily basis.
But just having a couple of days off plan and being a little more relaxed with my diet has really given me some perspective. Although these foods I have eaten were not on my diet plan, that doesn’t mean that they are evil and are going to make me gain weight. We are only human and there are always going to be slip-ups. There will be days when I overindulge, but that is okay. That doesn’t make me a cheater or a failure. As long as I look after my body and don’t fill it with junk it will look after me. I need to let myself breathe and practice a little bit of self-love, I am stronger and more in control than I think.
So I have decided that I am not going to be on a 100% meal replacement diet plan anymore. I am going to incorporate healthy meals and exercise (cardio and strength training) and try and turn away from a strict diet and towards a new healthier lifestyle, so that I can build a better emotional relationship with food, and set myself up for a healthy, happy life. I am still going to weigh in every Wednesday (including today) and I am really looking forward to tracking my progress and daily food diary logs on this blog.
Thanks for all of the support I have received on Instagram, the weight loss community over there are amazing!
Follow me on Instagram: @slimming_shannon
Peace and love!